How do I |
Our sexual identities develop over time. Sometimes, it's hard to know for sure if we're gay or just bisexual when we're young. This isn't surprising because there are many changes happening to our body. Young teens can even get erections for no reason, this is because our hormones are very strong and our sexual attractions may not be directed toward any particular person or situation. As guys get older they tend to figure out who they are really attracted to. |
Over time, straight guys naturally become attracted to women. They don't have to work at it or force it. It just happens. The same is true for gay guys. They become naturally attracted to other guys. They don't have to work at it. It just happens. Some guys try to force or pretend to like women because they may be afraid of being gay. However, this won't make a guy straight but it may make him confused. | |
|
To get a good idea if you may be gay or bisexual, ask yourself the following questions: When I fantasize, do I think mostly about girls or mostly about guys? Have I had a crush on another guy? Have I masturbated thinking about other guys? Am I forcing myself to like girls because I'm afraid people may think I'm gay? |
What should I do |
|
How do I |
The best thing to do is to start reading. Reading books, magazines or reading on the net as you are now is a great place to start. Most public libraries have only a very small section of gay positive books so a large bookstore may be better. Some large cities even have gay bookstores. It's best to have a book recommended to you (I list several at the end). Nothing is worse than buying a book and then finding out it's written by a homophobe. Sometimes, ordering books through the mail is also a good idea. As well, many large cities have gay youth groups. These are great places to meet gay friends your own age. |
What about sex? |
Some young guys while they know they feel attracted to other guys don't know what gays do together sexually. In fact, you may be scared about having sex. This is very normal! If this is the case, it's often best to wait having sex until you're older. It's not a good idea to start having sex when you're not ready. You'll have the rest of your life to enjoy the privilege of having sex with that special person, so there's no need to rush right now. Some people think it's good for guys to first learn more about their own bodies and what makes them feel good before they start exploring the bodies of other people. Instead of having sex, it may be better to enjoy the pleasures of your own body alone. However, some guys feel very uncomfortable masturbating. If you feel guilty after masturbating, you may feel very guilty after sex, so it's probably a good idea to wait. I personally think sex is best between two people who love each other and are a part of a life-long relationship-it becomes a special expression between you and that special someone in your life. |
Some teens think that having gay thoughts or 'doing it' could give them AIDS. This is not true. But if you are sexually active there can be the risk of AIDS, but only if your partner is infected. Keep in mind that just as you can't tell if someone has a cavity inside their mouth you also can't tell if someone has AIDS or the HI retro-virus that most people believe causes AIDS. If people could tell, there wouldn't be a need for an AIDS test would there? Not even trained doctors treating patients with AIDS can tell if someone is infected until they are first tested. Currently AIDS is incurable and because it is a very complex, sophisticated retro-virus, it likely won't be cured in the very near future. This observation is not to scare you but only to say that prevention is very important! |
So how can I | Don't shoot up with drugs. Don't have anal intercourse. Almost all the cases of AIDS are caused through infected needles or anal intercourse. In fact, it is believed that 98% of all the AIDS cases transmitted sexually are caused by anal intercourse. Again, anal intercourse itself is not bad, but if you have anal intercourse with someone who's infected, you stand a good chance of becoming infected yourself. |
Don't shoot up with drugs. Don't have anal intercourse. Almost all the cases of AIDS are caused through infected needles or anal intercourse. In fact, it is believed that 98% of all the AIDS cases transmitted sexually are caused by anal intercourse. Again, anal intercourse itself is not bad, but if you have anal intercourse with someone who's infected, you stand a good chance of becoming infected yourself. Most other sexual activity is less risky. This doesn't mean that people haven't gotten AIDS from oral sex or vaginal sex because they have. Therefore, using a latex condom correctly makes these activities much safer. Remember, using a condom does NOT make the sex safe, it just makes it safer. There is a big difference between safe and safer! This means that you should always wear latex condoms from an undamaged condom wrapper. You should also make sure that the condom hasn't yet passed the expiration date-after the date, condoms can rip rather easily. Remember, other things also cause condoms to rip including heat. Therefore, never keep condoms in your wallet or in the dash of a car and always use a new condom. Never reuse a condom. Also, not all condoms are the same. Some have a reservoir tip at the end to collect the semen (which contains the sperm). If condoms don't have a tip and the end, you should leave some room at the end to collect the semen. If you pull a condom on too tight then it could rip when you ejaculate. Sometimes, it's good to practice using a condom several times before you plan to use it for real. That way, you know how it feels and now how to use it properly. If you feel uncomfortable buying a condom at a store, it may be best to wait having sex until you're older. |
So what if I'm AM gay, whom should I tell? |
More and more gay teens are learning to feel better about themselves. As you start to listen to your feelings and learn more about what it means to be gay, you'll begin to feel comfortable with your sexuality. Therefore it's important to grow. Growth usually comes through learning and other people are often good teachers. Be careful however! Once you tell someone, you can't untell them. Telling parents is particularly difficult. If you live at home and rely on your parents for food, shelter, clothing, allowance, etc., be careful! Because many parents are homophobic, they can be abusive! However, if you suspect that your parents are not homophobic, telling them can often be a big help. They could turn out to be wonderful resource and support people. Remember, like your sexual behaviour, telling others is your choice. Do your homework first. P-FLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) have excellent brochures including one on how to come out right to others. They also have excellent information about homosexuality and the Bible. |
Recommended |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|